Can't Help Falling
by FatalTie
Summary: It was supposed to be just a small get together for Sonohara's birthday with a fun little hot pot and some cake. But then Karisawa-san, who Sonohara had invited herself, had insisted that no 20th birthday party was complete without booze. Still though, aren't they a little old for spin the bottle?


How did he end up here again?

Mikado stares uneasily across the coffee table at the sight of Karisawa-san and Masaomi clinging to one another, having just finished a drunken rendition of Happy Birthday. It seemed like the only thing holding them up-right is each other and he wonders if they let go they'd just slip down to the floor. Next to them Sonohara stares just as nervously at the pair, her Birthday Girl crown knocked off-kilter by one of Masaomi's stray swinging hands.

It was supposed to be just a small get together for Sonohara's birthday with a fun little hot pot and some cake. Kishitani-sensei and Celty had graciously offered their home as a setting once again when they realized that her birthday was coming up, more than happy to celebrate with Sonohara. It was exactly the kind of party that suited Sonohara, Mikado had thought.

But then Karisawa-san, who Sonohara had invited herself, had _insisted_ that no 20th birthday party was complete without booze. Sullenly he thinks that maybe it's not entirely inappropriate; this _is_ the first time they can all _legally_ drink together so he gets how the situation might call for it. When he had turned 20 earlier in the year Kadota-san and co. had taken him out for drinks as well (and Masaomi had tagged along and snuck a few drinks for himself) but he hadn't really taken to it. Drinking wasn't really his thing.

Watching Sonohara nurse her own drink, the same she's had for the past hour, he doubts it'll be a thing for her either.

Mikado takes another sip of the beer he had snagged from Kadota-san. It's far from satisfying, leaving a bitter after-taste in his mouth, but it's better than taking one of the "mixed" drinks Karisawa-san's been handing out. When Masaomi had offered a sip of his own drink earlier it had smelled like rubbing alcohol; two parts diet coke and one part vodka. Still though, as he looks around the room, he can't say it's a bad time.

It's a warm atmosphere. Celty and Kishitani-sensei are off in the kitchen, wrapping up some left overs, while animatedly talking to Kadota-san. On Mikado's left Yumasaki-san and Togusa-san were chatting, sipping their own beers. Earlier even Harima-san and Yagiri-kun had been there, though they had left a little before the drinking had begun.

And most importantly, despite sending occasionally worried glances to Masaomi, Sonohara looks content and happy.

Mikado can't really complain.

Karisawa-san slams the still half full bottle of vodka on the coffee table, "It's time for birthday shots!"

The resulting clack resounding throughout the room startles everyone for a moment, before Masaomi starts whooping, followed by Yumasaki-san cheering. Behind the counter Celty starts hurriedly typing away on her phone, before Kishitani-sensei waves her off,

"It's fine, just a little bit of fun."

Karisawa's already pouring shots in glasses (Mikado's not sure where they came from though) and doling them out to the party members within reach. Masaomi takes it upon himself to deliver shots to those in the kitchen, still steady on his feet despite the flush on his face. Kadota accepts one with a sigh, setting down his beer on the counter, but Kishitani-sensei shakes his head, laughing.

"No, no thank you! Someone should make sure none of you go too far!"

Masaomi shrugs and wanders back over to the coffee table, brushing past everyone to sit at Mikado's right. He sets the two remaining shots in his hands in front of him, giving Mikado a bright smile, cheeks an almost endearing shade of pink.

Masaomi gestures to the extra shot, "Want one?"

Across the table Karisawa snaps her head to gape at Mikado, having just handed Sonohara her own shot.

"Mikapuu! You have to have one," she yells, "Even Anri-chan is having one!"

Mikado jumps at her yell, "Uhhhh…"

Karisawa-san pins him with a pouty stare and he eyes the shot uncertainly. Masaomi leans in to speak lowly in his ear,

"You don't have to if you don't want to. I know you don't really like drinking."

When Mikado turns his head bit to face his friend, he's struck by how close they are. He can see too many fine details in Masaomi's face this close; the individual lashes around his eyes and, under the fringe of his bangs, his faded scar. Masaomi stares at him with just a tinge of concern, a little offset by the heat radiating off his cheeks. There's a flare of warmth that starts in Mikado's chest, burning up his neck into his own cheeks, forcing him to look away. Masaomi is definitely tipping past the buzzed phase.

He scoots one of the shots in front of him.

"Just one is fine…"

Masaomi does a small cheer in time with Karisawa-san's, bumping his knee into Mikado's.

Butterflies flutter in his stomach.

Things between Masaomi and him had become a little weird lately.

Not in a bad way, exactly, but it had put Mikado on edge for the last couple of weeks.

A year ago (or maybe a year and half ago now) Mikado and Sonohara had broken off their relationship of nearly two years. It had been a long time coming and they had ended on good terms, but at the time Mikado had been rather devastated. He had very much loved her, but as she explained to him, it was something she simply couldn't return the way he wanted.

Aromantic.

The term still sounded foreign on his tongue. After a lot of talking he felt he kind of understood, but it hadn't stopped him from feeling heartbroken.

After that Masaomi latched on to him, becoming kind of like a soothing Band-Aid. Or maybe it was Mikado who had latched on to him. Masaomi never did re-enroll into high school, even after all the drama from a couple years ago calmed down. They hadn't see each other as much as during Mikado's last years of high school. Too busy finding work. But right when Mikado had felt like everything was falling apart _again_ , Masaomi suddenly appeared once more. Like a superhero, right when Mikado needed him.

They spent unreasonable amounts of time together; any moment that Mikado wasn't in class at university, Masaomi was with him. It was actually a little fascinating, since he knew Masaomi was working a full time job. When Mikado asked about it his friend told him not to worry over it, that his schedule was flexible. Mikado didn't really question it, honestly just happy that Masaomi was there at all. Anytime he was left to his own devices he tended to _dwell_ on things. Not just his failed relationship with Sonohara but the _past_ in general and… it wasn't really a good idea to think about it too much. Masaomi's presence was a constant and welcomed distraction. It was exactly what he needed.

After a couple months had passed, Mikado realized that he couldn't remember the last time Masaomi _hadn't_ stayed the night at his place. Masaomi's things were starting to collect in the apartment, enough to the point that Mikado had cleared out space in the closet for his friend's clothes. Then at the end of the third month, right when rent was due, Masaomi handed him an envelope saying it was for his half. Stunned Mikado had tried to turn it down but his friend had insisted,

" _We're living together, of course I'm gonna pay rent!"_

And just like that Mikado apparently had a roommate.

He would be lying if he said he hadn't been a little pleased about it.

But his apartment wasn't exactly _made_ for holding two permanent guests, which had led to a lot of invading each other personal space. Particularly for their sleeping arrangements. They could squeeze their two futons next to each other with a little room to spare, but most mornings they woke up entangled in each other. It happened often enough that eventually Masaomi just started skipping the formalities and would curl himself against Mikado's back from the get go. Which eventually led to Mikado realizing that _maybe_ he looked forward to that part of each day a little more than was strictly considered normal.

The occasional awkward boner he got from it was another strong indicator.

Then a few weeks ago, after wrestling with the fact that he might be a little more than okay with doing more than sleep _next_ to Masaomi, something changed.

Things had become more stable, Masaomi no longer feeling like he needed to be with him 24/7, and so occasionally they left each other to their own devices. Mikado had been at home one night, just working on some light reading for one of his coding classes, when Masaomi had stumbled into the apartment around ten o'clock. Since Masaomi's birthday in June he had taken to going out sometimes for drinks with his co-workers.

He always made sure to be home at an appropriate time though, so as to not leave Mikado worrying. It always left a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach, how often Masaomi seemed to consider his wellbeing. Whenever Masaomi came home from one of these excursions though he always felt a mixture of excitement and guilt.

You see, a tipsy Masaomi was an even cuddlier Masaomi.

Mikado's friend had never been one to shy away from showering Mikado with physical affection, though it never really was anything more than platonic gestures. But when he was a bit more than buzzed it seemed like the line between platonic and more got a little blurry for them. Those nights Mikado indulged in the warm, sleepy Masaomi that would plaster himself to Mikado's back and giggle breathlessly against his neck.

That particular night had been shaping up to look like the previous ones, Masaomi toeing off his shoes as he made a beeline for Mikado. He had his arms looped around Mikado's waist in seconds and buried his nose into the side of his neck.

Mikado had relaxed into the warm body behind him and sighed, ready for another night of indulging in his favorite guilty pleasure.

Until he had felt the tickling sensation of fingers creeping up under the front of his shirt, lightly brushing against his stomach. He stiffened in surprise and the fleeting touch disappeared as quickly as it had come. Masaomi just continued to nuzzle against his neck like nothing had happened. Mikado had tried to convince himself that he'd imagined it, but he couldn't slow down his racing heart.

That night was the first time Mikado had felt uncomfortable when Masaomi wrapped his arms around him when they crawled into bed. Not because the touch had been unwelcomed, far from it. But instead because it had brought with it a weighty ache in his chest.

Longing for something more with Masaomi was something he worried could hurt their friendship.

Which brought him back to sitting across from the girl he used to love and next to the boy he'd probably never not loved.

Karisawa-san lifts her shot, looking around the room expectantly.

"To Anri-chan's ascent into adulthood!"

Mikado raises his little glass along with everyone else and there's a chorus of cheers as they all knock back the shot. It burns down Mikado's throat, harsher than he expects, and he coughs once he swallows. Next to him Masaomi rubs his back, cooing soft encouragements between chuckles. Mikado glares at him half-heartedly, but Masaomi's grin is infectious as always.

Karisawa-san claps her hands for attention again.

"Now that's out of the way… time for party games!"

Kadota-san wanders out of the kitchen to sit in the open space next to Karisawa, sighing,

"This isn't _your_ birthday party, Karisawa. Maybe we should see what Sonohara wants to do?"

"O-oh, it's fine," Sonohora smiles softly, "… I'm having a lot of fun. What game did you want to play?"

Beaming, Karisawa-san grabs the nearly finished beer bottle Kadota-san had brought with him to the table ("Hey!") and downs the rest.

"We're gonna play spin the bottle!"

The uproar to Mikado's left startles him so badly he nearly spills his still half-full beer all over the table.

"NO WAY!" Togusa-san smacks his hand on the table, "The boy to girl ratio is too different! It isn't fair!"

"I think that's the point," Yumasaki-san laughs, "Karisawa-san's looking for some BL action!"

They simultaneously start shooting finger guns at each other, while Kadota-san just buries his face into his palm.

Masaomi laughs next to him,

"I don't see the harm!" He bumps his elbow against Mikado's arm, "Eh, Mikado?"

"U-UHhhh—"

"I think it would be fun…" Sonohara says, fiddling with her glass.

The room goes silent for a moment.

Kadota-san sighs again, "Well, if that what the birthday girl wants…"

Next to Mikado, Yumasaki shrugs, smiling easily, "I don't mind playing!"

"Oh no, I'm not getting roped into this." Togusa-san stands and vacates his spot quickly, "I'm going out to have smoke."

Karisawa-san pouts, watching him leave out onto the balcony.

"Hpmh," She turns around to face the kitchen, "What about you Cel-chi? You want to play?"

Celty makes a motion to wave her hand no,

"Absolutely not!" Kishitani-sensei moves protectively in front of her, "I'm the only one allowed to kiss Celt—ooph! Ow! Celty wait— OW—"

Karisawa-san turns back around, "Okay I guess that's everyone then!"

She pushes the now empty beer bottle into Sonohara's hands.

"Since it's your birthday, you get first spin, Anri-chan!"

Sonohara flushes a little now that the attention is focused on her again.

"Um…"

"Have you played before?"

The girl shakes her head no, "But I've heard of it before…"

Mikado wipes his hands on is jeans, feeling clammy. He's not really sure he wants to participate in this but he doesn't want to be downer. He glances at Masaomi. What are his chances? He clenches his fists looking back down. He didn't need to get so worked about it; it was just harmless little game.

And if he got to kiss Masaomi, it would just be a nice little bonus.

"Okay well obviously you spin the bottle, right?" Karisawa gestures to the bottle, "And then whoever it lands on you have to kiss!"

Sonohara nods, her already pink cheeks darkening.

"Right…"

"It just has to be a peck on the lips," Her eyes start glimmering, "But if you want to go a little further that's fine too!"

She nods again and carefully places the bottle in the center of the table, preparing to spin. The room goes eerily quiet as they wait for her to start. With a flick the bottle spins.

It slows down, passing Mikado, landing on Yumasaki-san.

Both Masaomi and Karisawa whine at the same time.

"Nooooo I wanted to kiss Anri-chan!" Karisawa-san tearlessly weeps.

"Me too!"

Yumasaki-san just laughs, "It's my lucky day!"

Shyly Sonohara-san sits up on her knees to lean across the table. Yumasaki-san follows suit, meeting her halfway for a chaste peck on the lips. It's over in a blink and then they're both sitting back down. Mikado can't but feel a little relieved. If that's all it was gonna be maybe this won't be so bad.

Karisawa-san huffs, "Okay, Yumacchi, your turn!"

He laughs, "Yeah, yeah okay!"

The bottle is spinning again.

"… Really."

It lands on Kadota-san. Karisawa-san is screeching behind her hand while Masaomi roars with laughter.

Before they have a chance to process it Kadota leans across the corner of the table to peck Yumasaki-san on the lips. He's already spinning the bottle again while Karisawa-san gasps.

"W-wait what," she cries, clinging to his arm, "Dotachin I wasn't readyyyy!"

"Too bad," He mutters, face a rather charming red. Yumasaki-san just chuckles, looking as though he was unaffected.

It lands on Karisawa-san.

Kadota turns to face her, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Don't do anything funny."

She sniffs haughtily.

"I won't."

It's another simple peck and Mikado wonders if maybe he really has nothing to worry about after all.

"Okay my turn!"

The bottle slides to a stop in front Masaomi.

"Ooooo a kiss from an older woman?" He winks, "It seems lady luck has favored me!"

A rather wicked smirk crosses her lips.

"I guess so…"

She raises herself on her knees to lean across the table. Masaomi follows her lead, leaning across as well. As soon as he's within reach, she snatches the collar of his hoodie and pulls him in for a much more _involved_ kiss. There's a flash of tongue and a wet smack.

She pulls back and sits down with a satisfied grin.

"So what was it like kissing an older woman, Kida-kun?"

There's a quiet minute where they all just drink in the flabbergasted look on Masaomi's face.

Only when Sonohara starts to giggle behind her hand do they all erupt into laughter. Once Masaomi sits back down he joins in good-naturedly.

"Alright, alright, my turn…" He moves to take his own spin.

Mikado digs his fingers into his legs.

If he's being honest he really wants to kiss Masaomi, and this would be his guilt-free chance to get it. But as he watches his friend spin the bottle for his own turn, dread starts to weigh in his chest. Everyone is going to be watching.

And as the bottle slows down to stop to in front of him, he gets exactly what he wants.

And Mikado realizes that _everyone is going know it._

"Mi-ka-dooo!" Masaomi sings.

Karisawa-san is already screeching in excitement again.

All the warmth in his face drains out of it and he can feel his fingers trembling on his knees. He eyes flick around the room, everyone looking expectantly at him.

 _They're all going to know!_

"… Mikado."

He looks back at Masaomi, swallowing nervously. His friend looks at him, brow furrowed.

"… Are you okay?"

Ohhhh no now they're all looking at him like that.

"I—… I'm fine!"

Masaomi stares him down for a moment, before smiling gently.

"If you don't want to you can say so," he sounds surprisingly lucid considering the color in his cheeks, "But jeeze, you don't have to look like the thought of it makes you wanna puke."

Masaomi chuckles hollowly, "I've got feelings too you know!"

 _Oh god, is that what he looked like?_

"I— I—" Mikado's voice cracks, "… b-bathroom!"

Mortified he stands quickly, nearly tripping over his own feet to run from the room. Behind him he hears the room erupt into noise as Mikado half-runs, half-trips out into the foyer. The mix of booze sloshing around in his stomach washes a wave of nausea over him. Celty nearly catches him as he slips into the bathroom, frantically typing on her phone. He snaps the door shut before she can reach him,

"S-sorry Celty-san!" He flicks the lock in place, "I-I'm fine, just using the bathroom!"

Her presence hovers outside the door for a moment, but she makes no move to open it.

Mikado sets down the lid of the toilet and slumps down onto the seat. A sick feeling is welling in his stomach and he knows it's only partly because of the shot he downed earlier. He digs the heels of his palm into his eyes, groaning.

There's no way they don't all know now.

He doesn't know how much time passes while he buries his face into his hands (surely not longer than a few minutes?) but someone is knocking on the door now.

"Mikado?"

Even muffled through the door, Mikado would recognize that voice anywhere.

"Masaomi," he lets his hands fall down into his lap.

"Can I come in?"

He doesn't answer, fidgeting in his seat.

"Please?"

There's a tense moment, Mikado imagining Masaomi pouting on the other side of the door, and he sighs. He reaches and flicks the lock back open. His friend slowly opens the door, peeking in at him. He looks just about as Mikado imagined him; pink cheeks and lips quirked into a cute frown.

He shuffles into the room and closes the door behind him.

Mikado averts his eyes, staring at the floor.

"… I'm sorry," Masaomi mumbles.

His eyes are drawn back to him. Masaomi scratches the back of his head, smiling a little, like he's embarrassed.

"But you know… I really thought you'd want to kiss me too, Mikado."

The toilet creaks a little when Mikado straightens. He gawks at his friend with wide eyes.

"… are you… Did you want to kiss me, Masaomi?"

Masaomi does a little shrug that sends Mikado's stomach into tiny happy flips.

There's that sing-song lithe to his voice that sends Mikado's heart jumping.

"I'm not saying I don't want to~!"

Mikado snorts, trying to hold back laugh, but it spills into quiet giggles.

"You're drunk."

Masaomi is grinning madly now.

"Not that drunk!" He moves in front of Mikado, kneeling down on the floor, "So… according to the rules, I'm supposed to kiss you."

Mikado bites his lip trying to contain his smile, but it doesn't really work.

Masaomi leans forward bracing his hands on Mikado's knees.

"May I?"

Mikado nods.

It's a light peck against his lips, and Mikado lets his eyes slip closed. He head feels light, like he could just float away at any moment. It's mere brush of skin, and then Masaomi pulls away, an exhale skimming across his lips. The briefest pause; before he feels pressure against his mouth again and Mikado sighs. There's a wet swipe against his lips and Mikado lets it slide past his teeth, trembling. He reaches to grab Masaomi's face, palms cupping his jaw, fingers brushing past his ears into his hair. Masaomi makes a small noise in the back of his throat, fingers teasingly running up Mikado's thighs, and he wonders if this might be the happiest moment of his life.

There's enough blood rushing through his ears that he almost misses the sound of a click.

Masaomi pulls back, both of them looking at each other blearily for moment, before they turn to look at the door.

The open door?

Karisawa-san is holding her cellphone in front of her, hand clamped over her mouth in a silent scream. No one speaks.

She flees from the room screeching.

"I GOT A PICTURE!"

Masaomi stands and sprints after her.

"Karisawaaaaaa-saaaaaaan nooooooo! I'm the only one allowed to see Mikado's kissy face!"

There's another uproar in the other room and Mikado sits on the toilet seat, only about a fraction of how embarrassed he thought he would be. Mostly he is warm and giddy.

He's grinning when he finally pulls himself off the seat a few minutes later, making his way back into the living room with everyone else. Celty immediately skitters over to him, looking every bit the worried mother despite the lack of face for expression. She looks between Masaomi and him, who is still wrestling Karisawa-san for her phone, before asking if he's alright. Mikado grins and assures her that he's feeling a lot better now. He moves back over to his seat and flops down.

Across from him, Sonohara smiles knowingly at Mikado.

He's flushes and looks down but he still can't stop smiling. Masaomi plops down next to him, mumbling.

"Yeah… we're not getting that phone unless we're prying it from her cold, dead fingers."

Mikado leans into his shoulder, laughing, and Masaomi leans back. He tilts his mouth toward Mikado's ear and whispers.

"We're going to continue that at home, right?"

At home.

He nods.


End file.
